It’s become very PC these days to be down on terrorists and other collectives of violently like-minded people. (And wild dogs, let’s not forget about them.) But the fact of the matter is that oftentimes we just bring it on ourselves. America greases back its hair and puts the top down on its convertible while loudly talking in public on its cell phones about how its the mightiest and greatest country on earth, in every area from density of drug stores to variety of chicken tenders restaurants. And that’s true, we are pretty much the bitchenest country ever. But nobody likes a show-off, and it might do us well to show a little self-control from time to time. Because as fun as it is to waive a raw, juicy steak just two inches away from the reach of a rottweiler on a chain, sooner or later that chain’s gonna give, and you’re gonna be sorry that all that sweet, bloody steak juice has been marinating your hand.

So when I see pictures like the following, it does three things: (1) Reminds me that occasionally (very rarely) it pays to dig through the coupon supplements that come in the mail. There are treasures there, friend. (2) It fills me with pride in capitalism and the almost religious fervor we devote to our greedy and bizarre love of mass-consumerism. Someone looked out across the toy landscape of America, saw a need (a farting teddy bear-shaped hole, if you will), and righted a very quiet and noble wrong. (3) It also reminds me of how jealous the rest of the world must be at all of our cool toys. This is the American Dream those terrorists want so badly; consuming their every waking moment, knowing that as much as they would love to have a farting teddy bear, their culture/religion/tradition/dignity/mother simply would never allow it. And so they then decide that if they can’t have it, no one will.